I sat in the bleachers with my parents as we listened and I try to hold the camera steady. I couldn’t help but be distracted by the children in front of us. They were about 9 or 10 years old and were very active and very loud. They crawled under the chairs, over the chairs, pulled each other’s hair, cried to their parents and as their parents made a poor attempt at keeping them settled, these three kids paid no attention, they just kept squirming and giggling. 

I was disgusted at the parents lack of respect to not only the students performing but also for the parents surrounding them.  If they had any clue at all they would keep their children quiet or take them out.  Why couldn’t they keep their children in line? Why didn’t they do something. The louder they got the more irritated I became.  For the sake of all of us, take your children by the hand and lead them out of the gym and discipline them!

And then I felt a nudge from my Daddy.

No, not the dad that was sitting next to me, my heavenly Dad. He unveiled my eyes to see just exactly what I do to Him on a daily basis.  I run around. I crawl under convictions. I make noise so I don’t have to pay attention to Him. I don’t focus on to the spectacular concert in front of me, but I only pay attention to my own thoughts that I want to entertain. I feel him try to guide me but some days I rip my hand from His and do my own rebellious things.

Why doesn’t He do something? Why doesn’t He keep me in line? Why doesn’t He take my hand and lead me out to discipline me?

Because He knows me. He knows my bent, He knows how I learn best and He loves me enough to let me fail, fall and then pick me up in His arms and love me back to life again. It’s H
is love that lets me fall and His grace that stoops down to sweep up my brokenness. When He shows up to shower His grace and mercy on me He also knows everyone around me will also see it.

Who wouldn’t want to love this God? Who wouldn’t want to please this Dad? Who wouldn’t want to obey Him? It’s His love that found me and His grace that keeps me coming back. But it’s His blood on the cross that keeps my name in His Book of Life.

This morning at breakfast we were talking about graduation and I realized in just a few short days I will have a senior on my hands again and suddenly I felt exhausted. I need at least two or three years in between senior pictures, senior teas, senior spotlights, graduations, open houses and that oh so popular but always annoying saying, “I don’t have to do that….I’m a senior.”

Sarah will be graduating in a year. It seems like forever away, but it’s not. I swear I will blink my eyes and we will be sorting through pictures to put on a collage board, making albums of certificates and wondering if we should invite this person or that family. No….I don’t wanna go through this yet! Can I protest now?

Worse yet are the decisions she will make for college. She wants to go on college visits, she wants to make an informed selection, she is particular about where she is going. While I badgered my two older boys into signing up for classes at the local community college and urged them to study, I feel like I will be pulling back the reins saying “Whoa Sarah….not so fast…I’m not ready for you to be gone yet!”

This is the little girl I prayed over as soon as she was born. This is the little girl who broke the string of boy grandchildren and ended up as the ONLY girl in the family on both sides….and still is… even with great grandchildren! This is the little one I dressed up in the frilliest pink dresses and paraded  around to every mother and daughter banquet there was to attend.  This is the same young lady who is willing to step up and can be entrusted to take care of the farm while her father and I attend sporting events. This is the strong-willed young lady who has turned into a leader and will not settle for second best.

Is it any wonder I’m not ready to give her up to the world? Oh yes, there have been days when she has tested my will and has made me cringe at my own humanity, but there are other days when I wonder why God would ever entrust me with such a beautiful young lady. And where did she get her organizational skills and her drive and determination to be early to everything???? Ya, that was God too.

It’s time to muster up my energy and courage to take on another senior year. Like a freight train….it’s coming down the track and I can either stand by and watch it, get run over or hop on and enjoy the ride.

I was texting a friend early this morning as we were discussing a situation about a young man she was concerned about. She explained the situation and the rock and the hard place she seemed to be up against. She wanted to help this young man be successful in his next season of life but felt like it wasn’t her place to step in.  I gave her a few quick thoughts but then turned away for a while to work at my desk.

Right on time, the daily devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries came in my email.  I had just recently found this ministry and signed up for their daily devotionals. 

The devotion was based on Matthew 25:40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

Although I had read this passage over and over again, the context was different this morning. It was about how sometimes moms need to step in and protect not only their own children but those children who’s moms can’t protect them for one reason or another. It elaborated about backing other moms up and helping out where we can.

As soon as I read this, I realized God was speaking to us and I texted my friend and told her about it. The last thing I said was, you’re the mom in his corner today, now go do whatever you have to for this young man!

On a sunny Wednesday morning in the middle of August, God was in our texting. He showed up, spoke to us through His word and confirmed what this mom needed to do. He removed the obstacles she was facing and confirmed what she knew all along–she needed to speak up and help him, without reservation.

It’s amazing to me that with all that’s going on in this world, God, through his grace and perfect timing, used His word, Proverbs 31 Ministries and two texting moms to help a young man, who will face more challenges in his life that most young men his age and give him the boost he needs for a successful launch of the next season of his life.

Do you remember as a child when you made a wrong choice and were so convicted you knew you had to confess the truth? Or when you were caught in a lie and were forced to tell the truth?

It’s one of the toughest moments in life when you’re so convicted you could choke and yet fear keeps your mouth shut. Fear of disappointing someone or fear of the consequences. No matter what the fear it’s powerful and paralyzing.

When you finally do cross that great divide between fear and confession, once those truth-telling words are out of your mouth, relief washes over you and the strength that fear was trying to harness is suddenly unleashed and you feel like you could do anything.

This has happened time and time again with me, from when I was a young child on into adulthood.  Fear can paralyze me beyond belief.

Do you realize with God, none of this takes place. There is no fear. There are no worries. There’s just an all knowing God who knows how you feel, what you’re thinking, why you do what you do and most assuredly loves you anyway.

As I was praying this morning and confessing things that I need to change, I realized there was no fear in confessing to God, I could spill my guts and tell it all, He already knows it and loves me anyway. He doesn’t love my motives, actions or wrong choices but he does love me and that never changes. So when I talk to Him about what I’m doing and he nudges me about what I need to change, I realize it’s all done in love. He wants what’s best for me. He wants what’s best for Him. He wants what’s best for us.

And knowing His love for me never changes and His grace for me is never-ending I can do what Hebrews 4:16 suggests – Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

If there was anything that ever made you want to start a relationship with Jesus, this kind of grace can make you not only want to approach Jesus but flat out run into the Saviors arms!

I’ve been called crazy, weak minded, silly, self-righteous, naive and stupid for believing in the one true God. But my belief has never swayed and what happened yesterday just cemented my faith in just exactly who the Great Provider is.

I had to cover an event in Wauseon, Ohio, about 50 miles southeast of the farm. I headed out and was low on gas but decided to wait to fill up until I got to Ohio, where gas is usually cheaper. I went to the event, enjoyed the company of farmers, tried to figure out what the professor from Ohio State University was talking about with drop size, air assist, canopies and drift and then I finally headed home.

Knowing I needed to get gas, I stopped at the cheapest place I found, a Marathon station just south of the Fulton County Fairgrounds. I hopped out, saw that you couldn’t pay at the pump and decided I was too hot and too lazy to walk 20 steps into the gas station so I left and looked for the next place to get gas.

I found the next station just south of Morenci and pulled up to the pump. I inserted my debit card, punched in my PIN and took off the gas cap when I noticed I was at a “diesel only” pump. Darn it! So I pushed the cancel button, made sure it was cleared and pulled around to the gas pump.

Repeating my steps, a message flashed on the screen that said, “Please See Cashier.” Oh for heaven’s sake all I wanted was some gas! So I walked in, stood in line while a cute little girl paid for her goodies and walked out the door. I told the cashier what happened and she said, “Oh, no problem, I’ll just run your card here,” and so we did. Problem, the card wouldn’t work. Looking perplexed I said, “Where’s the ATM?”

I decided to get money from the ATM since my card suddenly wouldn’t work. The receipt came out and said, “Unable to complete transaction.” Looking even more perplexed I walked out the door and wondered what the heck was going on. All I could figure was that I tried to use my card too many times and the bank put a hold on all the funds. Clearly, I was not going to be able to get any money off my card.

I got in my car and headed toward home thinking about my situation:  I was 40 miles from home, my gas tank on empty, one dollar in my wallet and if I was lucky I could scrape up about another dollar in change from my purse! Praying in one sentence, “please Lord, get me home” and cursing myself in the next sentence, “Why didn’t you just fill up before you left home?!”

I drove and drove, keeping one eye on the road, the other eye on the gas gauge while wondering just exactly how many pennies I had in my purse. Knowing I had at least $2, I stopped at the next town and figured I’d pump $2 worth of gas, count out my change and pray it would be enough to get me the rest of the way. It would have to be, being stuck on the side of the road on a hot August day was just not in the cards….or so I thought.

I pulled up to the gas pump and counted my change, one more time. I opened the door and stepped toward the gas pump and happened to look down and there on the ground in front of the gas pump was a wad of money. From what I could see it was a five and a couple of ones! I smiled as I bent down and wondered, “Who left this behind? Are they still here?”

I looked around and there wasn’t another soul in sight. I thought there must be someone here that had just walked off and dropped it. I looked for anyone who might have seen someone drop it, a car driving away from the pump, someone just walking into the store…someone to whom this money belonged. But there was no one.

No one pumping gas, no one going in or going out of the store, no one driving away, no one…. not one person. Then I began to giggle. And as I giggled, I said, “Thank you God, you are so amazing and so kind to leave a few dollars for me, thank you!”

I pumped my gas still wondering if the person who left this might pop up and ask about it.  I walked in to pay for the gas and the attendant was gabbing on the phone and there were people who were eating in the attached restaurant. It was just a quiet afternoon at the truck stop in Fayette, Ohio.

I walked back out still giggling at God and thanking him for His grace and I couldn’t get home fast enough to tell my family about God’s provision.

I’m sure you can count the number of times on one hand you found money somewhere out of the ordinary and passed it off as luck. But how many times have you found money somewhere out of the ordinary when you were in desperate need and prayed for a miracle?

Go ahead, call me crazy, weak minded, silly, self-righteous, naive and stupid for believing in the one true God, but I’m a  crazy, weak minded, silly, self-righteous, naive and stupid believer who was given $7 by a loving, gracious, merciful Provider named God. And I love Him!

Jake sat at the dining room table while I was cooking dinner and asked me if I still had a picture of him in his body cast from the accident.  I said, “Yes, it’s around here somewhere,” as I pointed to the refrigerator full of pictures and schedules.

He told me we needed to keep that around and of course I agreed. Then he explained why, saying that if he ever does something great, like play basketball in college or something cool like that it would be a great story. Ya know, I get run over by my dad in a skid steer, broken leg….body cast…..had to learn to walk again…all that…ya know?

I smiled and said, yes Jake you’re right, it would make a great story and I turned around and began to dice the mushrooms. And then I thought about it a little more and realized I had stopped telling him.

In 1999, when God performed the miracle of saving Jake from an accident that should have killed him, I was convinced he was saved for a reason. There’s no way any two year old should survive being run over by a two ton piece of farm machinery except that God had performed a miracle for a reason.

Maybe the reason was to spare a dad a life of guilt. Maybe the reason was to spare a mom the heart-wrenching anguish of losing her baby. Or maybe the reason was because God was not quite done with Jacob W. Hart yet.

I’m convinced the reason is the latter and the first two are mere benefits of His miraculous grace. But whatever the reason, I’ve always said that God had a great plan for Jake, but somewhere in the busyness of four teenagers and farm life and daily writing and all the rest, I had forgotten to tell Jake about God’s plan for his life.

The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

It’s right there in black and white. God has a plan for each of us, a unique, wonderful, blessed, unimaginable plan for us. It’s a promise kept by God. And unless we read it daily, we can lose sight of His plan and that He is in control.

I’ve tried to remember to tell my kids this, but apparently I stopped telling Jake. So yesterday after he began this God ordained conversation, I walked over, ran my hand over his sweaty head and said, “Yes, Jake, God didn’t save you for nothing, He saved you for a reason. He’s got great plans for you Jake, plans that you can’t even imagine.”

Jake smiled.